Anxiety, Pain & Stress
Anxiety is when you feel uneasy, worried or are fearful. We all feel anxious at some point in our lives. Anxiety can sometimes become a problem when it is ongoing. Anxiety can manifest us psychologically and physically.
Psychological symptoms can be:
Worried and uneasy a lot of the time
On edge frequently
Physical Symptoms can be:
Loss of appetite
When there is sudden and intense anxiety, this can bring on a panic attack. Panic attacks can include physical symptoms such as nausea, dry mouth, shaking, sweating, dizziness, breathlessness or feeling disorientated.
Panic attacks can be frightening because they may sometimes make you feel as though you are having a heart attack or that you are going to collapse and pass out. Many panic attacks last between five minutes to half an hour.
Self Esteem, Self Worth and confidence
Self-confidence and self-esteem are very different. People normally find it easier building their self-confidence than their self-esteem. Self-esteem is an internal experience. It relates to the way that we feel about ourselves, it reflects our inner sense of self-worth and entitlement whereas confidence is an external experience.
Self-confidence is a reflection of the way we experience ourselves in the external world i.e. in our relationships, other people and with situations and circumstances. Confidence can be learned and is very specific, we don’t actually need to feel confident about everything and that’s ok, but a lack of self-esteem can cause much greater difficulty in our lives.
If we lack in self-confidence but if we have a good self-esteem, we have a good foundation, we feel more resilient and more able to try something and regardless of the outcome, we still feel good about ourselves. However, if we have good self-confidence and low self-esteem, even if we achieve something for ourselves, we very rarely feel good about our achievements.
Seven golden rules of self-esteem:
Learn to listen to yourself
Turn off your inner critic
Become reflective rather than reactive
Be kind to yourself
Have a go and reward yourself for doing so, regardless of the outcome
Be supportive of your learning process
Validate your achievements, however small you may think they are
Attachment issues and developing healthy relationships
The attachment experience affects personality development and the ability to form good stable relationships throughout life. Attachment contains within it the platform for the child’s ability to ultimately separate from the caregiver and to survive independently.
This mother-child attachment bond shapes an infant’s brain, influencing your self-esteem, your expectations of others, and your ability to attract and maintain successful adult relationships. By learning about attachment, you can build healthier, attuned relationships, and communicate more effectively.
Individuals who experience confusing, frightening, or broken emotional communications during their infancy often grow into adults who have difficulty understanding their own emotions and the feelings of others.
Attachment, relationship between an infant and their primary caregiver is responsible for:
Shaping the success or failure of future intimate relationships
The ability to maintain emotional balance
The ability to enjoy being ourselves and to find satisfaction in being with others
The ability to rebound from disappointment, discouragement and misfortune
Contact us to find out more about attachment, how it impacts you and your relationships.
Loss & Bereavement
Coping with the loss of someone or something you love is one of life’s biggest challenges. Often, the pain of loss can feel overwhelming. You may experience all kinds of difficult and unexpected emotions, from shock or anger to disbelief, guilt, and profound sadness.
The pain of grief can also disrupt your physical health, making it difficult to sleep, eat, or even think straight. These are normal reactions to significant loss. But while there is no right or wrong way to grieve, there are healthy ways to cope with the pain that, in time, can ease your sadness and help you come to terms with your loss, find new meaning, and move on with your life.
Different types of losses can cause grief, such as:
Divorce or relationship breakup
Loss of health
Losing a job
Loss of financial stability
Death of a pet
Loss of a cherished dream
A loved one’s serious illness
Loss of a friendship
Loss of safety after a trauma
Selling the family home
Depression & Low Mood
Generally low mood and depression includes, sadness, feeling anxious or panicky, worried, tired, sense of low self-esteem, frustration and anger. Low mood can possibly lift after a few days or weeks. Making small changes such as improved sleep, resolving a stressful situation, getting more sleep or talking about it can improve mood. Low mood that does not go away can be a sign of depression.
Some of the symptoms include:
Low mood lasting longer than two weeks
Comfort eating or losing your appetite
Tired and lack of energy
Not being able to concentrate on things
Having suicidal thoughts or thoughts to harm oneself
Self-harm is when an individual intentionally damages or injures their body. It is usually when an individual finds it difficult coping with or is expressing overwhelming emotional distress. The intention is more often to punish themselves, express their distress or relieve high levels of tension. The reason can sometimes be both or possibly a cry for help.
Workshops can help individuals to discuss thoughts and feelings and how it in turn affects their behaviour and wellbeing. Through groups and individual sessions, they understand they are not the only ones experiencing some of these symptoms. It helps individuals to gain insight into why they self-harm. Different coping strategies to help prevent further episodes of self-harm will also be discussed.
Trauma & PTSD
When you experience a threatening or traumatic event, your nervous system responds by triggering the fight, flight, or freeze response. After the danger passes, your body usually returns to normal. But if the upset doesn’t fade and you feel stuck with painful memories and a constant sense of vulnerability, you may be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). As upsetting and debilitating as PTSD can be, it’s important to realise that you’re not helpless. There are plenty of things you can do to alleviate your PTSD symptoms, reduce anxiety and fear, and take back control of your life.
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can develop following any event that makes you fear for your safety. Most people associate PTSD with rape or battle-scarred soldier – and military combat is the most common cause in men – but any event, or series of events, that overwhelms you with feelings of hopelessness and helplessness and leaves you emotionally shattered can trigger PTSD, especially if the event feels unpredictable and uncontrollable.
PTSD can affect people who personally experience the threatening event, those who witness the event, or those who pick up the pieces afterwards, such as emergency workers. PTSD can also result from surgery performed on children too young to fully understand what’s happening to them.
Car or plane crashes
Sudden death of a loved one
Sexual or physical abuse
Abuse (sexual, financial & domestic abuse)
Abuse includes domestic violence, rape and sexual assault. Abuse can be defined as any behaviour towards someone that causes deliberate harm or upset can be considered as abuse.
The different types of abuse are:
One main characteristic of an abusive relationship is control. The sense of worthlessness experienced by the abused allows the abuser to continue the relationship and the abuser unable to break free or they will lack confidence which results in the abused being dependent. In my workshops and counselling sessions, I discuss what is abuse, recognising the signs of abuse, understanding what it is and how it impacts on the abused.
Anger is one of the most basic human emotions. It is a physical and mental response to a threat or harm done in the past. When anger gets out of control, it can become destructive and significantly affect your quality of life, career, relationships and overall wellbeing.
In my workshops or individual therapy sessions, I will look at:
Understanding what makes us angry (triggers)
Why it can be difficult to control anger
When anger becomes a problem
Change the way you respond to the triggers
Looking at ways to handle anger triggers and how to keep calm when they feel the anger surging
Empower yourself to have your needs met in a healthy assertive way
Teaching how to communicate effectively to defuse anger and resolve conflicts
Relationship and couple therapy aims to improve communication and address issues within relationships.
In a relationship, you can sometimes end up not listening to the other person or have difficulties communicating your needs clearly.
Talking to a Psychologist allows you to talk to someone who has no pre-conceived notion of who you are. I also have the skills and training to help guide you through your concerns.
When individuals are having difficulties, they may describe their relationships in many different ways. Does any of the following sound familiar to you?
We’re always rowing
They don’t understand me
We don’t seem to have anything in common any more
I don’t understand why they feel the way that they do
Our past constantly gets in the way – we can’t move on
We don’t enjoy sex or rarely have any intimate time together
Not sure we love each other anymore
We don’t talk like we used to
We’re only staying together for the children
We’re not on the same wavelength
We just can’t go on like this
He/she is controlling
The aim of relationship therapy is to help you understand how various factors such as family value, religion, lifestyle and culture can influence your relationship(s). This helps you to reflect on the past, understand how it is affecting your present relationships.
As a result of this you are able to communicate constructively, understand why arguments escalate and how you can negotiate and resolve conflicts better.