What is the difference between Coaching and Therapy?
There is often confusion over the difference between therapy and coaching. Often people believe coaching is therapy in disguise. However, each service is designed to support individuals in it's own unique way.
One of the biggest differences is that therapists focus on “why” and coaches work on “how.” Both therapists and life coaches work to enable clients to make positive changes in their lives and become more productive. While therapists do diagnose and treat from a healthcare perspective, not all therapy clients are ill; many healthy people seek the services of both therapists and life coaches
Although coaches and therapists occasionally help clients with similar problems, their work is not the same. In order to get the right kind of professional expertise, it is crucial to know which kind of guidance will serve you best.
Therapy can be a short and long term process carried out with a healthcare professional to diagnose and resolve problematic beliefs, behaviours, relationship issues, feelings and sometimes physical responses. The idea behind therapy is to focus on past traumas and issues to change self-destructive habits, repair and improve relationships and work through painful feelings. In this sense, therapy focuses on the past and on introspection and analysis.
Therapist's determine illnesses and pathologies so clients can be clinically treated
Help clients explore and understand their subconscious and unconscious mind. Their goal in this exploration is deep understanding.
Moving to a place of being grounded, stable and a sense of healing
Focuses on understanding the past
Focuses on feelings
Focuses on reviewing and understand your life
Mood Management through emotion exploration
Works with internal resolution of pain and understanding patterns of behaviours
Coaching can be short or long term. It is an action based process to help ambitious people to reach their goals and visualise their full potential.
Focus on results and actions. Their goals can be measured with key performance indicators and specific behavioral outcomes and goals.
Moving from a stability and healing to growth
Focuses on how to move forward and obstacles that prevent this
There is a strategy in place to action steps forward
Focuses on results and meeting your goals
Works with external solutions to overcome barriers, learn new skills, and implement effective decisions
"We don't have to do all of it alone. We were never meant to"
If you are interested in therapy or coaching and ar confused about which would best suit you, book a FREE phone consultation with me now.
4 Benefits of Coaching
Coaching is the process of helping another individual realise their inner potential, delivering fulfilment to the individual's perception of life. It is supporting an individual from where they are to where they want to be.
Have you ever said you are going to do something and then not done it? A coach will follow this up with you, and if an agreed action is not followed through they will want a reason why. Often it can be an emotional obstacle or your environment that may be stopping you. This is something that you can become conscious about through the coaching process.
A coach will support you in the development of a personal or business progress plan to clearly map out your development journey. They will keep you focused as you work through each stage of that journey. If you struggle with anything, you turn to your coach who will be there to help you through the struggles to reach your goal. A coach will ensure that you don’t move on until you have achieved the agreed goal and offer you the necessary support and motivation required to get you through.
3. A Different Perspective
When you’re in the heat of the game you need a coach on the outskirts with a wider perspective of the whole field. A coach will enable you to come up with a fresh approach to a problem.
Sometimes, we allow emotion to blur our vision and sway our decision, but a coach does not have that emotional attachment and will give you an objective point of view which will help you to see the outside looking in.
Sometime, due to the closeness of a relationship, your friends, partners, family or work colleagues won’t challenge you as they don’t want to ‘Rock the boat.’ However, a coach will challenge you in a number of ways.
"Excuses will always be there for you, opportunity won't."
If you would like to know more about coaching, get in contact NOW.
Self Harming in the Shadows
An individual's perspective of self-harming.
Self-harming is my way to cope. I don’t understand why that is so difficult to understand for some people. Yes, I’ve been through a lot, and yes my way to cope with life is different, but no it is not easy to just stop and switch off how I feel. I don’t think anyone really understands what it truly is like to self-harm, apart from those that have gone through with it. The euphoria, the relief, the proof of existence. It all hits you in that one second of painful pleasure. It is like an addiction and the only way to keep myself alive!
I still remember the first time I started cutting. I was 12 years old. I did it during a bathroom break whilst at school. I excused myself from class and walked into the toilets and shut the door behind me. I entered one of the cubicles. Nobody was there. It was just me and the sound of my breath. I had a pair of scissors in my pocket, which I used to cut the top of my left arm. It just felt right to do it. I was in pain, it did hurt, but it was an escape from the true pain I had buried away inside me. There was just something about seeing my own blood drip from my arm; it reminded me that I am alive, that I am not empty inside. Ever since this powerful experience I started cutting more regularly. It reminds me I am alive. Of course, it was my secret, so I had to make sure I could never be found out. I cut in places that would not be seen by anyone. I wore long clothes, even in the summer, to hide my deep sorrow filled scars. And I was successful for many years.
But one day I told someone, well the situation was such. It was a friend who saw my scars whilst I was getting changed in the dressing room of a clothes store. She just lifted the curtain and I panicked in that moment with all sorts of questions erupting in my head. Did she see? How much did she see? What is she going to think? Will she accept me? Does she think I’m a freak? Is she going to run away? …Of course she saw.
I didn’t know what to do; I looked at her horrified as she found out my secret that I had hidden away for years. But to my relief she didn’t judge me. If anything, she supported me and listened to my story and what triggered this behaviour within me.
Everyone’s trigger is different. My trigger was feeling rejected when I broke up with my boyfriend. I didn’t want to feel this anymore. I didn’t know how to grieve or handle my emotions, and the lack of control I was experiencing was driving me insane. So this led me to gain control over something in my life, which at a young age happened to be my choice to harm myself.
I am in a better place now and haven’t self-harmed for 4 months, 2 weeks and 4 days thanks to my support circle. I realised having support is more important than I anticipated.
Rise of child depression urges wariness of misdiagnosis
As the rise of children playing outside lowers, and the time they spend online rises – so do the levels of childhood depression affecting our children.
Some decades ago, using ‘mental health disorder’ in the same sentence as ‘child’ was a rarity. There are many professionals that linked the lack of depression in children to their belief of children not possessing the mature psychologic and cognitive structure that makes us vulnerable to those problems.
Children living with depression, can be a sensitive topic for society, as many of us associate a childhood as being fun and carefree.
Recent times has seen such mental illness become a reality with the fastest incline in depression among young people. Studies conducted by the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence presented findings of approximately 80,000 children residing in the UK are estimated to be suffering from severe depression, including 8,000 under the age of 10.
The rise in referrals to psychology clinics and counselling clinics could be linked to pressure from society, issues with parenting, problems with schooling, trauma etc. However, there is also an increase in referrals which are due to parent’s and school's worries for children, rather than the severity of the child’s difficulties. Some parents tend to pre-diagnose their children and send them to therapy, although the issue may not be as serious as it is perceived to be. This can label the child who will start to believe there is something wrong with them.
The most common association of the incline of mental health problems in children is from societal pressures and expectations. Growing up in present times is arguably more stressful than it has been from constant emphasis from the media of body image, as well as the rise of social media use and cyber bullying. How can we possibly help our next generation?
It has been found that some female girls at just six years of age are dieting, or considering it. With the extensive time children spend online, they are more susceptible to the media, brands and their advertisements of the ‘perfect body’ for both girls and boys, and if they don’t match up to this ‘perceived standard’, they develop a low self-esteem, thus potentially leading to depression.
Depression in children can be difficult to diagnose, often being overlooked for behavioural/development issues and vice versa. It is easy for us to research depression on websites, but not all websites are reliable. It is also important to not label a child as depressed until a professional, such as a psychiatrist or psychologist has diagnosed this.
Waiting for the perfect moment that never came
Do you wait for the ‘perfect’ moment in order to do something? The moment that never seems to come?
Waiting for the right time for something can be perceived as procrastinating. Or, perhaps the issue is you do not believe in yourself, or you are comfortable where you are, or you are fearful over what could happen. "I am not strong enough. What if it goes wrong. What if I fail. This month is too busy, I'll try next week."
Everyone’s life journey and experiences will be different, therefore the reality that you perceive will also be different. If you want to understand more about yourself or understand what is stopping you from doing the things you have dreamt of - you can!
Therapy tends to hold a stigma where it is associated to mental health issues, but it can be used as a space for personal development and growth. Ask me for more information.
“I will do it tommorow. I will do it next week. I will do it when I get paid. I will do it when I feel better. I will do it when I have more money. I will do it when the kids grow up. I will do it when I feel I can. I will do it after my shower.”
So why do young people tend to self-harm?
The exact reasons why children and young people decide to hurt themselves aren't always easy to understand. In fact, the young person may not even know exactly why they do it and that is why therapy can be helpful, for them to gain a deeper understanding of this coping mechanism. From my experience, young people tend to go to great lengths to cover self-harm cuts or scars, such as always wearing long sleeve clothes and if you do happen to spot them they can be easily shrugged and explained away as accidents. It can be difficult for parents to manage their child’s self-harming behaviours
It is important to remember that the severity of the injuries does not reflect the young person’s suffering. Something has caused them to self-harm – so it’s always helpful for parents to respond and not react to the situation. Saying things such as “the injuries aren’t that bad” or “what have you done to yourself?” could make things worse. It is also helpful to work with parents as often they can blame themselves.
It is impossible to say how many children are self-harming simply because they keep quiet. It is thought that around 13% self- harm between the ages of 11 and 16 but figures could be higher. No child should have to suffer alone.
From my own experience it is usually a way of coping with or expressing overwhelming emotional distress. Self-harm can take lots of physical forms, including cutting, burning, bruising, scratching, hair-pulling, poisoning and overdosing. There are often many reasons why children and young people try to hurt themselves and once they start, it is a learnt response to help them to deal with certain issues. Self-harm can also be a suicide attempt or wanting to be noticed. It often is a way for young people to release overwhelming emotions and is therefore a way of coping. Also, the physical pain of self-harm might feel easier to deal with than the emotional pain that's behind it. It can also make a young person feel they're in control of at least one part of their lives. But remember the impact of self-harming is temporary, so the young person will need to revisit it when they feel overwhelmed again.
Self-harming is the fastest rising cause of calls for help to the ChildLine advice line, according to the charity's annual report.
At Inspire Therapy we offer support to young people and families, including parents and teachers in how to support young people who may self-harm.
So many years of education yet nobody ever taught us how to love ourselves and why it is so important
I do a lot of work with the Children and Adolescents Mental Health Services (CAMHS). After finishing the therapy process with the young people I have worked with, I often ask them what they have taken away from the therapy, which is normally "to love who I am." This can change one's life, yet it is not something taught in schools.
Why is it important you may ask? By believing and understanding who you are will mean you will enhance your self-esteem and self-confidence, which can impact on your decisions and path you take in your life. If it holds such a huge impact on one's life, then surely this should be taught to the next generation?
Top Three Tips for Living Mindfully
Make gratitude a part of your daily routine
It’s often so easy to get caught up in our everyday routine of work and meetings, that we often forget to indulge in the simple act of gratitude. A moment in the day set for expressing thanks, for even the smallest things in your life, can be a great way of adding a little light to even your darkest day.
Practical tip– Try keeping a gratitude journal where everyday (or as many times you can in the week) you write down 3 things that you are grateful for in the moment and why you are grateful for it. e.g. I am currently grateful for the weather as I like the sound of rain.
Be kind – Not only to others, but to yourself
When you're nice to someone it feels good – both for yourself and them. We live in a world so full of high expectations and that its easy for us to be overly critical. Becoming more mindful allows you to create a mindset that is less judgemental and more accepting towards others. This also allows you to take it a little easier on yourself, realising that an optimistic mindset leads to more productive work.
Do one thing at a time
The phrase “multi-tasking” continues to increase in popularity as we get further into 2019. Whilst the popular myth is that multitasking allows us to be more productive, realistically it simply drains us faster. We begin to spread ourselves so thin that we end up not giving any substance, making ourselves more prone to mistakes. Try to focus on one task at a time with full awareness and attention. Not only will this be less prone to mistakes, but it also allows for more efficiency and you are able to finish the task without feeling worn out or tense.
Whilst to-do lists are very practical and helpful, we need to remember that life isn’t a to-do list, with things to be checked off. It’s meant to be enjoyed.